I came to this country from Ireland in 1963, when I was 8 years old. My family located in Riverview, Maryland in southwest Baltimore County. Riverview was a German/Irish neighborhood, and it remains so today. Being Irish, I had an accent, and for reasons I've never been able to fathom living in a German/Irish neighborhood, I got beat up because of my accent. I had a few friends who would play with me, but only when nobody was watching. The second they realized we were being spied apon by anyone, they beat me up. I was lonely and easy to get along with, so I pretty much agreed to this system (I said I was 8..I didn't say I was smart).
My best friend throughout all of this was Leo Parsons, a consummate Irish boy with Tourette's Syndrome that went undiagnosed for a good many years. He was my idol, primarily because he couldn't throw a punch to save his life. It stands to reason that when one is beaten on as much as I was, one would travel a road less pummeled. We would both walk down the street (it was a court, actually, Winsap, if you must know), he would kick and jerk and I would do my best to emulate his actions. My parents went along with this, at least until Leo reached his cursing stage.
One summer day we were sitting out on my back doorstep, and Leo whipped his tiny, tiny, tiny (hey, I'm not bitter, am I??) penis out and asked me if I would suck it. I told him I most certainly would not. He asked if I would do the honor if he covered it with apple jelly. Again, I declined. Miracle Whip? Yuk. Sandwich Spread? Tempting..clearly my resolve was weakening, but still I held firm. Mayonnaise?? What kind? Hellman's. SURE!! I loved Hellman's mayonnaise. Word got around, of course, and it wasn't long before I was able to wean myself off of Hellman's and enjoy my penises raw.
Eventually I lost the accent, or at least a good deal of it. Right around the time puberty hit, I could pass as 100% American. Just when they realized they no longer had a reason to beat me up,they discovered what "faggot" really meant.
I don't visit very often at all

Since April 1, 1998

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